Thank you for the opportunity to share a brief history about my life and my son with you and others. My first name is Bernard but my family and friends call me David, my middle name, to differentiate between my father and I who are also named Bernard. My son Christian and I have been living in Carpentersville since November 2005. We arrived from San Diego, California where I was served in the U.S. Navy and finished over ten years of active duty. I currently work at a call center as a customer service representative.

Christian recently finished his second grade from the special education program. I am so proud of my little boy. He has certainly been a blessing to me and all those that come in contact with him. His smile, laugh, and hugs are the fuel to my daily challenges. After classes are over Christian attends an after school program and is later picked up by his child care provider. I pick him up late at night after I get out of work. I have been a single parent since April 2005. Some of the toughest challenges for me have been keeping a reliable and affordable child care provider, and being able to give him that special touch of love that only a mom can give. Many child care centers make it difficult to accept children like Christian because he has Down syndrome.

Christian was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on July 1999 to a local Hawaiian girl and me (not too local since I moved there from Elgin, IL. But I did learn how to surf). I was serving on a naval warship in Pearl Harbor, HI navigating ships. Not too many ships in the C’ville area.

At the moment of Christian’s birth I was in Japan, on my way to the Arabian Gulf for a six month deployment. Upon returning to the ship from being out in town exploring the Japanese culture I got a yellow piece of post it note from a message board with Christian’s birth information. Someone got the call from Hawaii and wrote the message until the official one arrived. I was a little surprised to know he was a boy since the entire time we were told she was going to be a girl. A few days later we were back on the high seas and an American Red Cross message arrived. The ship’s chaplain asked to speak with me. I was a little nervous. The information contained in the message would change my life forever. My son was born with Down syndrome and my then wife was a mental wreck. I wasn’t too aware what Down syndrome really was but I would soon find out. I was mostly concerned about the rest of the message. It stated that my presence was immediately needed. I was very fortunate to always have a supportive chain of command throughout my naval career, God is watching over me. Our next port of call would be South Korea and I would fly back home to Hawaii to visit my family for a week. At the hospital I saw my little boy in the Intensive Care Unit. He had breathing assistance from a respirator. His lungs were weak. His heart was also being closely monitored. He was born with several well known Down syndrome conditions. One of them is the mitral valve in his heart that was defective which created many other problems. I was able to hold him and talk to him. Christian’s mother was there too. She was also battling her parents who wanted custody of her son that she had from a previous relationship, the mom won. Christian has a brother and is five years older and loves him very much. Christian’s weak heart and lungs made immediate improvements and before returned to my beloved warship we were able to take Christian home.

After a few more months, by the end of October, I finished my tour of duty at sea. I went back to pick up my family in Hawaii and head over to Washington, D.C. There I worked at the Pentagon for the next three years.

Our long road with medical treatments began. Christian’s medical record is probably the size of an encyclopedia, no joke. We were in and out of medical facilities like they were drive thrus. Bethesda Naval Hospital, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Andrew’s Air Force Base, Bolling AFB, and the Hospital for Sick Children in D.C. were just some of the hospitals that my dear Christian had to attend for different medical treatments. The range is very long including barium swallow studies, ear tubes, speech therapies, therapies for his eating disorder, and constant monitoring of his weakening heart. Despite all this Christian was very strong and brave, he loved to play. His favorite sport is basketball.

Christian was attending an early childhood program but it ended short when his mom witnessed mistreatment to him in the school bus. He was also attending a feeding program for a couple of months. We attended a few sessions to learn and his mom was there most of the time, mostly to supervise his treatment.

One morning I had an appointment for my son Christian and that caused me to be a little late for work. Everyday on my way to work I always saw the Capitol building and then the Pentagon. The smoke coming from the Pentagon didn’t scare me; I actually thought it was a fire from the kitchen or something. But having a police car get in front and not allowing me to continue changed my mind. I saw people running and cars stopping on the side of the highway. I was coming from the opposite side of the building where the plane had crashed, so I still wasn’t aware of what happened. I stopped my music blaring from my cd player and tuned to the news. Then I heard about the twin towers and the Pentagon. I could not believe what was happening. My immediate response was for me to go home and protect my family until I get further notification from my chain of command. I could see clearly the Pentagon and all the smoke from my house across the Potomac River. Family and friends called to see if I was ok. Shortly after arriving home I got a call from my supervisor, we were to start a twelve hour on/off shift that would last several weeks. We still had to work in it while it was still burning, it was my duty. I survived the Pentagon fire.

Before I knew it October 2002 came and my desk job was over. I was to report to my next command on another warship, this time in sunny San Diego. We continued medical treatments for Christian and the cardiologist recommended he immediately start taking medications for his heart condition. His heart was not getting any better. There were talks about surgery. We were not too confident. Unfortunately I had to deploy to the Arabian Gulf again. It was my third tour there since 1997. But this time my then wife found someone else to make her happy while I was serving throughout the gulf region. I did notice some modifications to our relationship when I returned. But at a time when our son needed both of us the most this was certainly not right. Our ship was in and out of the harbor. We were busy. I was hoping my wife would be supportive and take care of the children while I was working at sea. When I would return I would help her as much as possible and give her a break. I understood it must be very hard for a veteran’s wife. A few times I considered leaving the service after my contract would end. But she started liking San Diego a lot and thought I should continue, so I re-enlisted. After a few years in California she made many friends and then she wanted more than a break. That’s when I would return from my trips at sea and our house was out of order. I found drugs in the attic and my kids’ life in jeopardy. She stopped Christian’s medical treatments and went on an out of control rampage that later cost her marriage and her children along with an order of protection.

I was nearing the end of my Navy contract again. I finished working on my ship and stayed working on shore during my last few months. It was a very delicate situation. Still on active duty I had to convince the judge I can be a single parent. I built a strong case, got a good lawyer and won. Reading newspapers and with help from the YMCA Child Care Referral Program I was able to find reliable child care for Christian and his brother while I worked, and took them to school. Their mom moved out of the state. Since I only had custody of Christian her mother asked that his brother move with her parents to Hawaii. He felt forced to choose Hawaii and moved with his grandparents, even though he wanted to stay with us and loved his brother unconditionally. Meanwhile I was taking Christian to the doctors more often because his heart was still very unstable. My active duty contract with the Navy ended in November 2005 and I was discharged honorably.

I heard there were good doctors and surgeons in Chicago. The court granted me permission to move to Illinois, I had full custody of Christian, and my divorce was over. Time was going by so fast. I could no longer afford my house in San Diego and the bills piling up. I went bankrupt and moved to Carpentersville, IL. I rented my cousin’s basement for a few months until I moved out on my own. My life was falling apart loosing my family. My heart was shattered.

The first thing after moving to Illinois was for me to start looking for medical care for Christian. I found a pediatrician who referred him to a cardiologist at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago. The cardiologist stated Christian needed immediate surgical intervention. I wasn’t too shocked, but it was still painful to think about it.

Days after this doctor’s visit I got a call from a Naval Reserve Commander, he told me I was reactivated to active duty and was scheduled to deploy for Iraq within the next thirty days. I felt my heart skip a few beats and my world stopped turning. Everything came to a sudden halt. How can this be? What happened? Why me? The Navy wasn’t fully aware of my divorced, single parent of a child with special needs status? I tried explaining to the officer about my son’s upcoming surgery. He gave me some recommendations, but to also pack up and be prepared to deploy. I had to pull all my strengths and resources together to get out of this one year deployment that could have lasted up to two years. Under normal conditions I would have no problem going and doing my duty. But I was under no normal conditions. I have already done my duty. And I have proven my loyalty to the Navy and this country after serving over ten years of honorable and exceptional service. I presented myself to my chain of command in full uniform, along with a few good letters from the cardiologist and friends. My speech, the cardiologist’ letter, and the fact that I did not have anyone else to care for my son were good enough for me to win. Someone more suitable replaced me. The Iraq orders were canceled.

During this time I also met Bryan Stahl and his son Karl at Chuck e Cheese. Bryan approached me and asked about Christian. At that moment I wasn’t too sociable. But I realized Karl and Christian both have Down syndrome. We exchanged phone numbers. I actually wasn’t sure about visiting Bryan. It took me a while until I decided we should get to know each other. That was one of the best choices I ever made. Bryan and his kids have been a blessing to Christian and me.

In May 2006 Christian had a very successful open heart surgery. His medications no longer needed. The cardiologist only needs to see him once a year. How awesome was that? Praise the Lord! This was huge for me and Christian. It changed our lives forever. We were victorious.

To this date Christian has improved in many areas of his life. He loves his basketball and his daddy. I am very fortunate. The challenges are not over but with faith we can conquer anything.